Sunday, December 12, 2010

KATYA INFORMATION

Dear Friends,
 
I am taking this format to answer all of you who have sent information to me or to John about Katya.  Let me tell you what I know.  There are several people working with her in Krivoy Rog. She claims her adoptive parents sent her back to Ukraine - but gave her two options before sending her back - go to a "boot camp" or go back.  She choose to go back as she did not know what a "boot camp" was.  She identifed lots of conflict between herself and her parents. 
 
The US Embassy contacted the orphanage.The director said she planned this herself and is very manipulative.  No matter if she is or isn't manipulative, she is 18, has not finished high school and was sent/allowed to leave the country of her citizenship with a few hundred dollars in an envelope.  She is wanting to return to the US. 
 
I have talked to her mother and the situation has been difficult there in the home for 6 years.  Her mother claims she has an attachment disorder and a personality disorder.  She was a good student for the most part - although she did not apply herself.  She had only a few friends and seemed to be able to make friends but not keep them for long.  Her mother admits she does not want her back into the family.  She also admits she put her on the plane after a "blow up" in the family.
 
The people working with her in Ukraine say she is a nice girl and really is distressed over what to do with her life.  She knows she cannot do well staying in Ukraine since she does not have the language, connections or even the desire to be there.  For someone to care for her - they would need to understand this might be a very difficult situation.  If indeed she has an attachment disorder - she might be very distant in the relationships in the family and this can be extremely stressful for someone wanting to serve and give of themselves.  This is a situation where LOVE DOES NOT take care of all the issues.  I want to be as accurate and upfront as possible when sharing what I know and what is being shared with me.  
 
I have talked to Katya and can hear her confusion, and her desire to be settled.  And talking to her mother for a very long time does give another side of the story that clearly identifies Katya as having been difficult to live with.  Please do not be discouraged - she needs someone who is realistic and will work with her for a time to get her settled and through her high school education.  I don't want to paint a rosy picture where there will most likely be some very stressful days should one of you decide you want to move forward and help her. 
 
And it appears that EVERYONE is telling the truth - both sides of the ocean. 
 
Thank you - please let me know your thougts.
 
Ruby
 


--
All great things are simple, and many can be expressed in single words;  freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope.                               Sir Winston Churchill
 
<^)\\\\><
Ruby M. Johnston
Director of International Field Operations
Institute for Human Services - Canada
and
<^)\\\\><
J. R. Lynn Johnston
President
LAMb International Canada
BN817007042RR0001
Lynn and Ruby Johnston
406-33 Ellen Street
Barrie, ON  L4N 6E9

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